


In Your Arms I'm Home

by shewasabadgirl



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 13:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16306322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewasabadgirl/pseuds/shewasabadgirl
Summary: When everyone's gone to rest, the Doctor is finally alone with her TARDIS. Like all married couples, fighting and cuddling are on the reunion menu.





	In Your Arms I'm Home

**Author's Note:**

> I am so overwhelmed with Doctor/TARDIS feels, again, after the Ghost Monument. Talk to me about the best ship in the universe.

"Hey, you." The Doctor said, gingerly nudging the TARDIS console. Now that everyone's gone to rest and it's just the two of them, the TARDIS was being surprisingly silent and seemingly... a tad cold and distant despite being so affectionate to her a while ago.

"Are you mad at me?" The Doctor tried again. She had herself propped up comfortably on her comfy chair and her feet up against the console.

"Say something?"

 

Slowly as to not disturb her cup of tea and disc of custard cream she put her feet down and shoved the chair closer.

"How long has it been for you? I mean I tried my best looking for you, some aliens got in the way as always but I had you priority on my mind you know?" The Doctor put her cheek on the console, the metal surface slightly cool against her skin but not cold. She spread out her hands and hugged as much of the console surface as she could.

"Hmm?" She looked up at the TARDIS without lifting her head. It had been a life time since she practiced her best puppy dog eyes but she gave her best shot. Funny thing, since she became a woman she felt more comfortable showing her emotions. She felt soft and sentimental, but in a good way, a "I care about everybody and love all of them" way. And it also sharpened her senses to think quickly and calmly. Two adventures now without throwing a tantrum. She's doing good.

 

Seriously though now they are both woman she should have no problem cooing the TARDIS.

 

"Hey, why the new colour? I really really like it. Really suits you." She tried a different approach. She thought briefly about climbing onto the console. Do a roll like a dog begging for pets? Is that too much? Yeah it's probably too much. Plus she might accidentally roll into five different levers and send them all into chaos, again.

 

"It's not really my fault though." The Doctor tried to think back. Memory's a bit blurry from the point she regenerated and became stable. Like after you've woke up after being drunk you don't really remember what happened while you were drunk.

"Wait!" The Doctor shot up. A wide smile spread across her face. Then she remmebered and quickly hid it. Feigning a frown and a pout instead. She's loving doing pouts. The way her lips can be twisted is so fun. Expresses an emotion like nothing else.

But that's not the point.

"You!" The Doctor stood up and did a swoosh, pointing a finger at the TARDIS. Doing her best accusation voice.

"You! I was regenerating. And I was doing all good. But you tried to shake me out while we were nowhere."

She could feel the TARDIS turn a defensive vibration under her feet. The first sign she's an alive thing instead of an ordinary ship like she's been pretending to be all evening.

"You tried to shake me off. I held on because I was amazing." The Doctor continued to say, pacing around the console dramaticly and counting off her fingers. "Then you. You!" She jammed a finger at the console. "You tried to shake me off a second time and made me had no choice but to crash. CRASH!" She threw her hands in the air to show the impact of the crash. "All the way!!! Down there!!!

"Then you disappeared! Made me all worried! Stranded on Earth. No sonic. Mid-regenerating. Not knowing where you were or if you were fine. I was worried sick! I tried to find you! Then you!" She stopped her packing and stood, facing the TARDIS with anothe swoosh and stared the console down.

"Then, when I finally, because I was brilliant, fought off another bad guy, hijacked some technology and tried to zero on you. You disappeared! Left me nearlly choked to death and shred to pieces in vacuum space!

"I know why you were being like this." The Doctor crossed her arms and lifted her chin. "You! Are feeling guilty and trying to throw me off."

 

The TARDIS gave a violent shook then and for a moment the Doctor thought she was being thrown off board again.

"Okay okay!" She said quickly, holding onto the console tightly. "No need to wake anybody up. I take it back. I take it back. I love you baby you know I do."

 

Where her hands are touching the console, the panel start to grow warmer. The Doctor looked down and see golden energy enveloping her hands.

"You talking to me now?" The Doctor smiled up at the TARDIS. There's no response, but it's okay. The Doctor looked down again and slowly lift her hands to grasp at the golden light.

 

Scenes flooded in her head and flashes before her eyes in quick succession. Herself, no himself, her last self, dying, closing her, his, eyes to the sight of explosion. Then saved by Bill and her girlfriend. (She always wondered about that bit. Good to know.)

"I suppose one more lifetime won't hurt anyone."

Herself, the look on her face, when she was convinced they were stranded, her despair being magnified so loudly and clearly she felt shame, the tiniest spot in her heart that she had already swept that little episode over... So loud she didn't even hear the TARDIS sound the first time... The overwhelming relief was just cutting through the suffocating fog, screaming, but a silence of a planet with not a single lifeform living anymore..

 

A SLAP.

The TARDIS, just before the golden energy recedes, used it to slap her in the face.

The Doctor stared, eyes wide open. The old girl definitely took it from River. Only she slapped her in this very room. Well not exactly, but it's the same space.

She held her face. It hurt. It stung. It hurt her more than a slap more like a shot in her hearts.

"What was that for?" She mumbled, to her own surprise tears started to well up in her eyes. What's wrong with her? Why was she crying? River slapped her loads of times that's no reason for crying. Well she always had a reason for slapping her though. She's sure the TARDIS had a reason, too. It's on the brink of her mind. Just a fraction out of reach...

She didn't mean to blink but she did and teardrops splashed down her face, onto the metal.

It sizzled slightly. As if the TARDIS was hissing at her. Giving her a big told off. Shouting at the top of her voice that was all of her disappointment and her worry for her stupid thief.

"How dare you! Our adventures! Are not done! We only just ran away again and we were just getting started. Things to do! Sights to see! People to help! And you, at the slightest of obstacles, just thought of gave everything up? Have you ever thought of me when you thought that? Have you ever consulted with me if I was ready to rot in a time loop? I-"

Gold lights came for her again and the Doctor dodged. The TARDIS must had kept some of that redecorating energy just to give her a piece of her mind.

"I'm sorry baby I'm sorry." The Doctor said. She knew the TARDIS would never actually hurt her but she tried to stay alert all the same. "I'm sorry." She said. But the sound coming out was more of a sob. She was crying. Tears were on her face and she didn't know why she was crying.

 

In the end she found herself crouched underneath the console, her back against her TARDIS, her soft vibrations embracing her, and her arms embracing herself.

"I'm sorry." she said again, wiping her face with her sleeve. She liked this material. It's so much softer and cosier. "I just..." she tried. "I just felt so very tired, you know... I mean I thought I was finally ready for regenerating. Maybe I thought a brand new me would fill me with energy again. And it did. For a while it did. It was magnificant. But just now... When I didn't saw you. I didn't even realize looking for you was all that kept me going. But when I didn't saw you... It all came crashing down. The tiredness. The doubt if I made the right decision to have another go at another life time. If I have finally reached my real limit this time... It all crashed down. And I..."

Her cup of tea was by her hand now, steaming at the perfect temperature. She took a sip as she felt the warmth spreading through her body, and water being refilled into her system, replacing what had become tears.

"But we are all good now, ey?" She said, giving herself and the TARDIS a smile. She leaned backwards and let her head came to rest with a soft thud.

"Got new you. Got my new self. Got my new best friends. All good now, ey?"

 

The TARDIS softly hummed back to her in reply. It vibrates with her bones in such a comfort. She feels warm and comfortable, and most important of all, safe. The future lied ahead. But that's for later. The past she survived, and wouldn't be bothering her anymore, for now. Everything's good. She's good. She felt ready for a new chapter. New life. New adventures. New beautiful sights to see...

The Doctor felt herself drifting to what was, for her, a peaceful sleep.


End file.
